When I Gave Up

O God, you have the power to make the desert a place of renewal and a cross a sign of redemption. Send your holy Spirit so that we can hear you and entrust ourselves completely to you, for the sake of Jesus Christ our Savior. Amen.

Growing up, one of the things I will always remember about my grandmother is what she chose to watch on the television.

Every morning in the summer seemed to begin the same way. Long before the rest of the house was fully awake, my grandmother would be in the kitchen making coffee. The smell would drift through the house as she moved through her routine; making coffee, deciding what she would make for breakfast, and the sound of the local news in the background.

By the time we woke up and  breakfast was finished, the television would be on, and the familiar theme song of her favorite soap opera would fill the room. When I was young, I didn't understand why she cared so much about the characters on the screen. She talked about them as if they were old friends. She knew who was getting married, who was keeping secrets, and who had somehow come back from the dead for the third time. If I asked a question, she could explain years of storylines without missing a beat.

Sometimes I would sit beside her, pretending not to pay attention while she watched. She would shake her head at the television, laugh at the ridiculous plot twists, and occasionally predict exactly what was going to happen next. More often than not, she was right.

Looking back, I realize those mornings were never really about the soap operas. They were about the comfort of routine. They were about sharing a moment together before the day was too busy. The stories on the screen gave rhythm to her day, but it was her presence that made those moments memorable.

To this day, whenever I hear the dramatic music of Days of Our Lives, or The Bold and the Beautiful, I am transported back to those mornings with my grandmother, sitting beside her on the couch as another episode began.

The lives of Abraham, Sarah and Hagar gave us the blueprint for all soap operas. I’m serious, the Old Testament is full of one story after the next with a crazy plot twist we were not ready for.

Before we ever get to Abraham and Sarah, the Bible was already filled with some truly wild stories. There was creation just happening out of nowhere, a talking serpent in the Garden of Eden, a brother killing his brother out of jealousy, a massive flood that covers the earth, and a man named Noah who built a giant boat to save his family and some animals. Then comes the Tower of Babel, where the people try to build a tower reaching the heavens and end up speaking different languages. By the time Abraham and Sarah enter the story, we have already encountered a world filled with wonder, failure, judgment, mercy, and more than a few moments that make you stop and say, "Did that really just happen?"  

So, what did happen in our text today?

First, let me break down all the people we are hearing about. There was Abraham, Isaac, Sarah, Hagar, her son Ishmael and God. These people make up one dysfunctional family, but who are they?

There’s Abraham, the father and Patriarch of the family. The Abraham that we know today is a good example of outstanding faith in God and becomes the ancestor of all Hebrew people. He enters a covenant relationship with God to be the leader that the people need and in return God promises to make a great nation of his offspring.

There’s Sarah, the wife and matriarch. She was well on in years before she bore a child to Abraham. She was a very jealous woman and when her desire to be a mother took too long, she took matters into her own hands. Then when she thought it could never happen and even laughed at God, she conceived her son Isaac.

There’s Hagar, the servant of Sarah. Hagar is the mother of Ishmael, the first son of Abraham. Hagar is introduced to Abraham by Sarah; Sarah tells Abraham to lay with her to have children because she could not. Hagar is a young woman caught in the middle of someone else’s plan and left to suffer.

Then there are the children Isaac and Ishmael. Unaware of the life they have been born into but destined to do great things.

In our text today we are met with a hard story. It’s not just happy talk, but instead brings family conflict to the forefront. This passage is not a story about heroes behaving heroically. It's a story about the consequences of earlier decisions and the pain that follows.

Years earlier, Abraham and Sarah tried to force God's promise into existence through Hagar. Now that Isaac has been born, the arrangement that once seemed practical has become inconvenient. Sarah sees Ishmael as a threat to her son's future and demands that Hagar and Ishmael be removed. Abraham knows this is wrong, he is deeply distressed because Ishmael is his son, but he ultimately sends them away.

The hard truth is that Hagar and Ishmael pay the highest price for decisions they did not make. A servant woman and her child are cast out into the wilderness with little protection and few resources.

What is even harder to understand is where God is in this story. How would you feel if I told you that, the God of the Old Testament was not the same as the God we saw in the New Testament? I know that’s a wild and bold claim.

But the Old Testament God sent fires, floods, strong winds, plagues and more. This God seemed angry and vengeful at times, when the people didn’t listen. This God was there when children were dying and people were left without food. I know this is a great way to start your Sunday morning. But what I want you to see is that everyone is a different version of themselves at different stages in life, even God.   

I like to think of the Old Testament God as young God, trying to understand the people and this new world. What started as a vision for the world became reality and it did not look like what God had hoped. So, it took some time for God to become more patient and to adapt to this new world; all while holding on to the hope that one day we, humanity, would see the truth.

God, the Father, needed time to learn what fatherhood looked like. To discover those very characteristics, we hold onto and use them in a way that showed he cared. We like to imagine that there's this version of perfection when we look at God and the Old Testament shows us that even God has taken time to become who he is. This is the same way we understand parenthood today. We have learned to embrace new parents, new fathers, especially as they learn how to understand their wild children. This is the same way we have encountered God today, yet we don't look at it the same way. Maybe we just don't want to see it. Hold on to that feeling for now.

Why would I take the time to explain all this? Because when we first read a story like this, we will always say, “where was God?” “Would God allow something like this?” The truth at the heart of this passage is that human beings often protect their own interests at the expense of others. Fear, jealousy, and self-preservation can lead good people to do painful things.

Abraham and Sarah were not bad people, but they used Hagar to get what they wanted. Then left her alone. Now she is wandering around in the wilderness looking for help. She wasn’t prepared for any of that. And she is left feeling hopeless and abandoned.

Yet the story does not end with abandonment. When Hagar reaches the point of despair and believes her son will die, God shows up. God hears the cry of Ishmael, sees the suffering of Hagar, provides water, and opens a future for them. While Abraham and Sarah may have pushed them aside, God does not.

But the story also reveals a God who notices those who have been excluded, listens to those who have no voice, and refuses to let their story end in the wilderness. God is often found not in the comfort of the powerful but alongside those who have been cast out.

Hagar is at her lowest point, and she gives up on trying to find a way out. This is not easy to do because there is a fight in her as a mother to keep going and do what she can for her son. However, she is left with no choice and left truly feeling defeated. I know we have all been at that place before feeling down on our luck with no place to turn.

This is often the place where we truly meet God. Because we can no longer hide from God or our problem. This is the place where we meet God face to face and let go of this drive to fix it all on our own. This is the place where God says come to me and let me take care of you.

When she gave up, that’s when it all changed for Hagar and Ishmael. The same can happen to you. The same God you search for, the same God you have questioned and doubted, is the same God that shows up offering love, grace, mercy and more to each of us.

The same God you give up on because things aren’t going your way or somehow the result is not what you expected is still there. The same God you left behind because you were hurt is still waiting for you to return. That God has grown and seen you in your time of need. That God has made promises to all of us not to send his wrath down upon us and even found another way to connect with us through Jesus Christ. That God has listened and heard your cry, so when you open your eyes again God will show you a way out.

Reliving the stories of Genesis reminds us just how similar we are as a people, how life can still look the same thousands of years later. It also reminds us not only how we have changed but how God has changed also to love us more. To be more gracious, keeping promises and remaining steadfast.

No matter where you are in your soap opera of life, remember that God is still watching and will step in when you need it, especially when you give up on yourself.

Amen.