Sermon on John 20:19-31

April 16, 2023 

Written and delivered by: Rev. Ashley Bair 

Scripture: John 20: 19-31 

When I was working through my MSW I studied interpersonal therapy. And one of the things we were learning was how to appropriately show up with a client when they met with us as their therapist. At the time, I was interning at Catholic Social Services of Washtenaw County, Michigan and working with a lot of clients who were living in unfortunate circumstances. Things that had happened in their life left them without health insurance, without housing, without food, without family or caretakers. Many had experienced a particular trauma that had led them into deep, dark places. 

A couple of the clients that I saw were on particular medications that helped them while they were in those deep and dark places, and one medication’s side effect was hallucinations. There was a client I met with, who, at certain points during our visit, would see fire and a demon in the room. I talked with a couple of my co-workers about how I could work with her and others who were on this medication. Of course, we wanted to present ourselves to our clients in a way that would build trust. We wanted them, in the short time they had with us each week, to feel empowered in a somewhat powerless situation.  So based on what we were learning, we decided that our approach would be to just join the clients where they already were, and that that was the best thing that we could do.  

One day this client of mine came back and said that she saw red flames, and she turned to face me and said, “the demon is standing in the corner.” I looked back at her, and I said, “The demon is standing in the corner.” And with that, she replied “yes,” and she started talking. It was amazing to me, as a student at the time, how powerful it was, just acknowledging what she felt and saw, without question or judgment. It changed our relationship completely. It went from a therapeutic place of questioning, asking questions like, “I wonder what that must feel like for a demon to be in the room?” - to a place of empathy and reflection, saying, “I hear you. The demon is in the room. What are we going to do?” I believed her and my trust in her led her to trust in me.   

I was amazed at what a transition that made in our relationship. I don’t know whether anything improved for her, or whether she had less hallucinations from our encounters, because she was on that medication for the entire period of time I met with her. But I can say that for the 50 minutes we had every week, we got to sit together in our own truths. And that was something that I hope helped her, and also really changed me. 

It was the power of shifting from question and doubt to trust. When the world wants us to doubt and question and have all of the facts, to call something fake or show each other’s wrongs, it is a truly powerful thing to meet someone first with trust.  

Our gospel lesson today is a story of doubt and trust. The story of Jesus’ resurrection picks up here in the Gospel of John, and shows the early church huddled behind a locked door. The disciples were afraid. Jesus had been killed and not just killed, tortured and killed. They were afraid they were next. They didn’t expect to see Jesus again, even though he told them he would be resurrected. While they were hiding and afraid, and expecting the worst, Jesus came to them. He breathed the Holy Spirit on them, and He showed them his hands and his feet, and they were changed. They weren’t afraid anymore. They saw him and believed.  

Thomas was not there that day. He did not believe his friends when they said, “We have seen the Lord.” This is how he got his nickname, “Doubting Thomas.” I think that is an unfair moniker. The other disciples doubted it too. They didn’t believe it until they saw him. Jesus told them all he would be resurrected, yet they all waited to believe it until they saw him. Thomas needed exactly what they needed. He doesn’t seem like any more of a doubter to me than any of the rest of them. In fact, Thomas was brave and straightforward. Even though he had his doubts, he didn’t run away. And after all, everyone has doubts sometimes. 

This story to me isn’t about us not doubting, we will always have moments of doubt, that’s a part of faith. This story to me is a reminder of what it means to start with trust and belief in each other. The story of Thomas’ doubt was not different from the doubt of the others because Jesus showed his wounds to every one of them. But Thomas doubted his friends, too. He didn’t believe the other disciples when they told him what they had seen.  

For 8 days they were together, while Thomas chose to meet the others with questions and doubts. When Jesus comes to Thomas after a week, he shows him his hands and side, just like Thomas asked. There, Jesus saw Thomas’ fear and met him where he was with empathy and reflection. To Thomas, Jesus doesn’t just say, why didn’t you believe the others? Why do you need proof?  

Jesus meets Thomas where Thomas is. Thomas says I need to put my hand in his wound. Jesus says, put your hand in my wound, Thomas. Feel my side. I hear you. I am with YOU, Thomas.” Jesus met Thomas where he was and was quick to say, now you have seen and believed. Blessed are those who believe without seeing. In other words, it is a blessing to believe and trust even when we aren’t the ones who get to see for ourselves.  

The message he gave to Thomas is also directed to us. The ones who can’t utilize our senses to experience Christ’s wounds directly. But we come with faith in his teachings and his story, we who have not seen and yet have come to believe. We have nothing to go on, but trust and faith itself. And to have trust and faith in God, means we can trust and have faith in each other. Faith is not a series of beliefs, but a process of getting to know another. Faith is a relationship based on trust that is grounded in close encounters.  

It’s meeting someone where they are and showing them you believe them. It’s the moment when we choose empathy and reflection. When we sit with someone and meet them where they are, hear them when they tell us their truth. It’s the moment when we choose to say, “The demon is standing in the corner,” whether we see it or not.  

I learned an important lesson working at Catholic Social Services. It’s not always easy to show up with empathy and reflection. We have been trained to start with doubt instead of trust. Even Thomas was called out for not believing his friends at the start.  

I can’t help but think about Chanel Miller and the start of the #MeToo movement that began with a rally cry, “Believe her.” Until she made her identity public, Chanel Miller was known only as “Emily Doe,” the woman named in the People vs. Brock Turner, a Stanford student who was convicted of three counts of felony sexual assault for violating Chanel in 2015. First published in June 2016, Miller’s victim impact statement directed to her assaulter immediately went viral — 11 million people read it in just four days.  

At the end of Chanel Miller’s statement she says,  

And finally, to girls everywhere, I am with you. On nights when you feel alone, I am with you. As the author Anne Lamott once wrote, ‘Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining’….When people doubt you or dismiss you, I am with you. I believe you. 

Starting with empathy and reflection, survivors felt this trust and faith and became visible to each other and the public as a collective and began telling their stories. Following this upsurge in accountability, women have been reporting sexual assault in greater numbers with the hope of freedom from the weight of their experience.  

Have there been times in your own life when you weren’t believed? Or when you felt you couldn’t share your experience with someone because you yourself doubted they would believe you? What would have made you feel seen and heard? How do you know you can trust someone? Let’s be the person we want to trust. 

There are so many people around us who are hurting and living with hurt, not telling us because they are afraid we won’t believe them. I wonder what the other disciples felt when Thomas dismissed their experience for 8 days before seeing it himself. Even then, Jesus met all of them in their various questions and doubts and reminded them, and us all, of the power of belief, giving blessing to those who choose to start with trust.  

We only need to keep showing up with our faith in each other and God. Jesus is about to tell the disciples to go and make disciples in all the nations. How can they do this without some faith and trust? Thankfully, even when faith and trust fail, when we give into our questions and doubts, Jesus’ next words remain: “I am with you, always, to the end of the age.” 

In the end, it isn’t Thomas’ doubting that matters, it’s his believing. The disciples will have to not only trust themselves and what they believe, but also put great trust in others. And they can see for themselves, blessed are those who cannot, and still choose to trust and believe.  

Amen.  

 
 
REFERENCES: 

Chanel Miller and the New Power of Women’s Words by Leigh Gilmore for WBUR news, published on September 17, 2019.  

Sermon on John 20:19-31 by Judy Kincaid for A Sermon for Every Sunday.