Show Example

Tony Campollo was a Baptist preacher, popular speaker. His most famous talk was built around a mantra, "it's Friday, but Sunday is coming." He took this line from a sermon he heard where a much older pastor rose to the pulpit and slowly and methodically worked through our fears, our worries, our challenges and then he would say, I know it's Friday, things are hard, but Sunday is coming. Jesus is on the cross, it's Friday, but we believe Sunday is coming.

              With each repetition, you could feel the weight lift off your shoulders. Health problems, money problems, work stress, a kid in trouble, marriage not working, each one is a Friday, but . . . and then the congregation started filling in the words, shouting, Sunday is coming.

              I will forever have this mantra in my heart.  Worried, stressed, chaos everywhere, Friday, and then I hear, “Sunday is coming.”  Jesus is alive.  Sunday is coming.

              The other story Campollo told, something far less profound, but something I carry with me all the time was the way his mother sent him to school.  Campollo grew up in a neighborhood of Catholics and Jews.  Tony’s best friend was Hiram.  Each day he would knock on Hiram’s door, and they would walk to school together.  Each day as Hiram was heading out the door his mother would yell, “Hiram, do you have your books?”  To this Hiram would say, “yes, ma, I have my books.”  Campollo realized their lives were very different when he paid attention to what his mother said as he was leaving.  His mother would shout, “Tony, do have your lunch?” 

              Do you have your lunch?  The first time I heard this story was when I realized how my mother sent me off to school in the morning.  Heading out the back door to the bus stop, my mother would not call my name or ask me a question, she gave a direction, an imperative if you want to get fancy.  She would say, “show example.”  Show example.

              When I heard Campollo tell his story of “Do you have your lunch” and “Hiram do you have your books,” I realized how often I would cringe and groan and say, okay.  Show example, deep breath, okay.  Looking back there were times where I thought why not “have fun” or “learn a lot” or “be good.”  Nope.  Show example.

I laughed when I found myself being sent off in a similar way as a pastor.  Dessie Conway had Parkinsons, she was homebound, and elderly.  I would sit with Dessie for an hour, and she would regale me with stories of the town.  She ran Dessie’s Diner so her tales were many and vivid all conveyed through a halting voice.  When it came time to go, I would wish Dessie well and then as I reached the door, I heard her shout, “be . . .a . . . good. . . boy.”  To this I replied, “I will, Dessie, I will.”

When I think of all of these send offs, parting shots as it were, show example is always there.  Like a groove worn into a stone step, many days I heard “show example.”  I can look back over my life and see its impact; the impression it made on me.  For the most part showing example was lived out as a parent.  I believe and still believe you need to show example to your kids.

I do not believe "Do what I say, not what I do" is a good parenting path.  Although my faults are many and I am sure my children can name them, the main example of parenting was how to handle fear, how to keep calm during trouble.  Showing example meant striving, enduring, don’t lose your head, keep your cool.  It also meant shake it off, get up, try again. 

There are other important examples.  How you treat your spouse, how you keep your word, knowing what is important and what is not. A big one is grace.  How you are gracious can be a good example or a bad example to children.  Yet, how you face adversity, how you handle pressure and setback, even defeat, this is the one I saw the most, lived the most, tried to offer the most. 

Maybe a close second, something more the stuff of adolescence, was being good, more akin to Dessie’s send off.  Be a good human being.  Don’t be a jerk.  There is an example in this, a path you can cut.  Like the Hippocratic oath, first do no harm, or the hiker’s motto of leave no trace, I believe the most common form of example, even an example of leadership, is to be good, being a good and decent person.  I heard a mother make an important distinction about this.  She said, I hope my son will grow to be a good man.  Not a nice guy, a good man.  There is wisdom in the difference. 

Be it an example of calm or of good character, what often defines both is adversity. It is not hard to be calm in a place without adversity; it is not hard to be good in a good place.  Yes, we are all capable of self-sabotage even in the best of circumstances, but for the most part being calm and being good are matters of courage, of tenacity, of faith, trusting God, trusting yourself, trusting others.   

Our lesson today from Luke is all about showing example.  Showing example, what the widow gave in her offering, this is a sacrifice, an act of courage.  The widow gave in her poverty, she sought to honor God, even though such an act required her to suffer. This for me is a classic image of character.  She did not offer from what she had left over, she did not give a portion of her wealth, she gave from her poverty.

This makes sense to me, this kind of example.  It does, because it shows courage in adversity, the widow possesses faith in God transcending fear.  The widow's mite is a greater gift than the affluent offering because she gave her life, she risked her life being generous. 

In my office is a widow's mite, a small coin from the 1st century.  There are no marking on it; it is not gold or silver.  It's tiny, about the size of a dime.  The coin serves as a constant reminder to me about trusting God in adversity, being good when times are hard, having courage especially when you fear there is not enough, you won't make it.

Many years ago I preached a sermon on this passage called, "Just Enough."  What I said then, and what I believed, is this: I don't want to be rich or even be well off. I just want enough so I don't worry, just enough so I have no need to panic.  Not more than others, not more than is needed, just enough.  For the most part I live this Epicurean philosophy, all things in measure, all things in balance.  Not too much, not too little.  This philosophy sustains me.  Be it in a soaring Gothic cathedral in France or a dirt floor hut in Malawi, I try to stay the middle way, just enough.  Not too high, not too low.  Just enough.

Part of the widow's example, what we can see in the giving of her mite is how she believed God would tend her, sustain her.  She could make her offering, give from her poverty because in the end it was God who made her and God who would sustain her.  She would have just enough not by being cautious or living in fear; she would have enough if she lived in gratitude and faith.  This preaches. 

I heard a story recently, though, I heard a story about sacrifice, and it challenged my "just enough" philosophy.  Our capital campaign consultant Richard Rogers told of his first experience of a church trying to raise building funds, raise a lot of money.  At the time Richard and his wife were members of the church and recently agreed to lead the youth group. 

Richard said a rising senior, soon to be head cheerleader, Laura, asked if she could speak to him and to his wife.  Laura came to the house.  I took a deep breath in this telling.  For often when a teen asks for a moment like this there is something wrong, something painful.  Yet, what Laura wanted was advice.  She wanted to make a gift to the church; she wanted to support the church's dream of a new sanctuary.  She grew up the church, her parents were leaders, her father was an ER doctor in town.  What Laura wanted to do was to give up her spot as the head cheer leader, get a job for her senior year, and then give whatever she earned to the church.  This would be her pledge.  She wanted to know what Richard and his wife thought about this.  Was this a good thing to do?

As you can imagine they were both overwhelmed.  Richard said, I blew it by asking her first if she had told her parents this.  She said she had, but she wanted their advice, she trusted them.  Of course they affirmed her and expressed how overwhelming was her act, her sacrifice.  This was such a big moment of her life, something she had worked on and practiced for years, and she was giving this away to help build a church.  What an amazing gift. Just be sure in your heart. 

The next part of the story is just as amazing.  Members of the church heard about this.  Word got around.  And then something inspiring took place.  Member after member asked if they could redo their pledge.  So inspired by young Laura's generosity, they felt moved to give more than just enough, they asked, could we too be so bold?

The campaign ended wildly oversubscribed.  They were hoping for 800,000; they raised 1.6 million.  All from the generosity of a young woman, a teen, who said, I want to make a sacrifice.

This is a great story, a remarkable example.  Since I heard it, I have been mulling it over and over.  It is a great story of showing example.  But what I could not grasp is how different it was from my vision of showing example.  There was no adversity here; Laura's life was not chaos; she was a good person in a good place; this was not a matter of endurance or moderating risk.  This was an example of sacrifice as beauty.  She did a beautiful thing.  The example was splendid.

In the coming weeks I am sure you will all search your heart and ask how can I, we, give to renovate the sanctuary, prepare for generations to come?  My trust is you will ask as we will in our house what can we sacrifice, what is our just enough?  We will and our question will have the component of trusting God.  Generosity changes your life when it becomes freedom from fear.  Moments like this is when generosity can free us from the worry of just enough.  Like the widow's mite, we will give, trusting God will sustain us just as God has always sustained us.

Yet, now, I am caught up in the example of Laura and her sacrifice.  Am I doing this because it's the right thing to do or am I doing this because it is a splendid thing to do? Am I doing a nice thing or am I doing a beautiful thing?  Laura's example sticks with me.

Maybe you are like me.  Showing example is facing hard things, being good is doing the right thing even when there is consequence or adversity.  Yet, what if I were to live asking, what beauty is God calling me to make?  What would be something splendid?  Amen.